danny - my american idol

i have always enjoyed watching american idol and this season was no different. it's just that it seemed a little more personal this year. one of the top 12 finalists, danny gokey, was from milwaukee. of course, i felt i should support and root for the local boy. actually i really like his voice, but also what type of person he is.

for those of you who don't follow, danny made it to the final 3 and was voted off last night. in hindsight, i think it was more disappointing for all of his fans than for him. listening to him in interviews last night and today, (of course he was the main news story today in the milwaukee area), he tells of his relief.

his story is a rather sad one. he was happily married and his wife died less than a year ago, early last summer due to congenital heart problems. sophia was going in for her third heart surgery since birth and didn't survive. she had encouraged him to try out so he did so to honor her and did amazingly well. danny is/was also a youth music director at his church so a lot of his songs have a gospel feel to them.

i noticed as the season went on, little was said about his wife and he even stopped wearing his wedding ring. he did have it on again last night when he was voted off, i sensed he knew he might be going home. what he has said since is that he feels free again now, free to be able to talk about sophia and her inspiration to him and his love for her. he no longer has to listen to advice given to him by those at american idol and worry about if he wears his ring he might not get as many votes, or if he talks about sophia or his work at his church he might turn people off. he said he can now concentrate on the foundation he started for children in sophia's name, www.sophiasheart.org, and talk freely about her and his experience. yes, danny admitted, he is competitive in nature so a part of him wanted to win, but if he had, he would have been under contract from idol, and not able to do what he wanted to do.

i also learned in an interview with his brother that no family members are allowed to talk to the media while their relative is in the competition. it really makes me realize how controlled the entire competition is and only what the dirctors want to portray to the public is shown, so that we may never get to really see the person for who he or she is.

for that i am glad that danny was voted off. now he is able to pursue his foundation in sophia name. he made a name for himself while on the show and i can't help but think he will be able to do wonderful things in his wife's name. and he can now also publicly talk and grieve for her if he so chooses. he can also talk about his music ministry with the youth in his church. he will still be my american idol for what he stands for and believes in.

i'm glad i got to see another side of these reality shows. i will continue to watch idol in the future but i know i will never look at it the same, i will always wonder if what we are seeing is what is really reality.

mother's day

today was a little tough as both boys are away at school studying for finals. mark even had one today! second year in a row on mother's day. mark sent me a card and both boys called me and i had a nice talk with both. bob and i drove up to see his mom, and went to church with her. she is 90 and still in relatively great health. she still lives by herself and drives to church and the grocery store in their little rural town. afterwards we went out to eat with my mother-in-law and bob's brother and his family.

upon arriving home, i saw on the kitchen counter some fresh flowers and a box of dots (my favorite). it immediately brought tears to my eyes. mark doesn't have a car at school but matt does...... i called him and sure enough he had taken a break from studying and had driven home to start bringing a load home from his apartment. i wish i had been home to greet him, but we will celebrate next week when they are both home for the summer. that had been the original plan. those little unexpected surprises really make my day though.

gene, you would have been proud of your grandsons. happy mother's day, i love you and wish you were still here. happy mother's day to all moms alike!

lightning

lightning can be a very strange animal. after last saturday i must say i have a new respect for it as well. we have all heard stories of people being struck by lightning. well, fortunately i wasn't but i sure had a close call.

around 1130 am i was on the phone in my kitchen taking to a sales person regarding a new refrigerator we needed (another story in itself). it was raining at the time with some occasional thunder and lightning. the next thing i knew, a lightning bolt came into the kitchen, (through the top of the kitchen window to the best of my knowledge), and then exploded in the middle of the room about 5 feet from me. bob, the boys and other people keep wanting to know exactly where it come in but it's hard to say for sure. it's not like i was standing there watching for it to enter the house... needless to say i about **** in my pants! it happened so fast, there was this big "crack", and a flash of light about twice the size of a basketball. bob had been in the basement and came up because he heard the sound and felt the house shake. i can't say i felt any vibration, i think i was in too much shock, but a chip clip that was previously on the counter was now in the center of the kitchen floor.

there was no fire that started, although the house smelled of something burning for about 3-5 minutes. there is no burnt mark on either the outside or inside of our house, but it did fry both our small kitchen TV and my dining room light fixture.

it really makes you realize how small you are in relation to other things in this universe. life can be freaky sometimes and we see how little control we humans have over things. i also know that i was very fortunate to be standing near the kitchen table and not where i usually spend most of my time in the kitchen, in front of the sink or stove (which also happens to be in front of the kitchen window). if that were the case, this blog may never have gotten started.

starting anew

it has taken me awhile to get motivated to start up a new blog. in fact it is exactly 3 months ago that i posted my last post on my old blog. it has always been on the back burner of my mind, but i am a true procrastinator by nature. my philosophy is life is pretty much, "why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?" not for everything mind you, but unfortunately for a lot of things. i also wasn't sure i would have that much to say, especially things that others might want to read. i finally decided that if i felt the need to write down some periodic thoughts and feelings then i should create one.

maybe one day it will be fun to look back and reflect on what i was truly feeling at this time in my life. maybe one day my kids and or grandkids will come to know me better by reading this. maybe not, and that's ok too. but for now, i will go with the flow and post when the feeling moves me.

p.s. rabbit, rabbit